Thursday, January 14, 2010

Why is this woman ruining our lives? Please help me understand?

Before my husband met me, he had a one night stand with this woman that told him that she was on birthcontrol, but he still pulled out. One year later she contacted him, and told him that she had a child from him and that now he needs to start paying her. That is when he met me and he did not tell me because he was scared I would leave him. he asked her back then for a paternity test and she told him that she would only do that through the courts and that it will cost him more, but that she was willing to get paid "under the table" without paternity test. She then told my husband that if he didn't sign the birth certificate she would take him to court and so he did. he was a medical student at the time and did not have the money for a lawyer. he paid her under the table for almost two years, when finally he decided to tell me and i told him right away to stop paying her and to demand the paternity test. she kept brushing him off and then i called her and told her that we want this matter resolved and as soon as the paternity test confirms that he is the father, she will get money again. she called our house and called me every name in the book and even went to the extent of calling me an immigrant (I am from Northern italy). we then did not hear from her for three months and now she is suing him through the courts. he got a lawyer and we went to court the other day. our lawyer requested to do the paternity test, but the woman's lawyer is fighting it saying that he already signed the birth cert. and that he had been paying her. so the judge denied the paternity test and now our lawyer has to go back and try to fight it. this woman rather spends more money for her lawyer to fight the paternity test then just to grant it and get it over with. the court also ordered mmy husband to pay without doing the test he now has to shell out $600 a month out of his $2800 a month paycheck (he is still a medical resident). the woman reportedly made $230,000 last year! What is going on here? why is she acting like this. i completely do not get it. she didn't even tell my husband about the pregnancy.

Answer on Why is this woman ruining our lives? Please help me understand?

What a crappy situation. Your husband made some bad decisions; having a one night stand with a crazy woman, signing a birth certificate without establishing paternity, and paying this woman for 2 years; not you have a big mess on your hands. If you don't have a good lawyer, fire him and get a new one. Until then, you are at the mercy of the judge and have to pay because of the mistakes your husband made in the past. The woman is clearly using him and clearly does not have a decent bone in her. Don't expect rational behavior from her. Expect her to do all she can to keep the money coming. She is an evil woman who have unfortunately become a thorn in your side. Just continue to fight it or you will be stuck paying child support till the kid is grown.