Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Who is at fault for this?

Okay so I was forced to move away from my best friend about 5 yrs ago. Since then we havent talked much and our communication isn't really there anymore. Recently she planned a baby shower and said it was really VERY special to her and she thought itd be cool if I was there. I told her I would try my best to go. However for the next several months everyone kept telling me that they didn't believe I would even do it or even try and that I would fail so I started to give up. eventually my friend forgot about the idea of me even going. then i saw some pictures of her and her friends on myspace and remembered all the good times we had and how despeartley I wanted to see her. So I txted her about a week before the shower and said I could go! i asked her PLEASE text me the details of where to go, date time ect. But she woudlln't. She said she wanted us to talk on the phone. I told her I coudln't talk from 10am- 10 pm as I had work- but weirdly enough that is the ONLY time she would call me and she woudln't answer the phone if I called HER after or before 10am/10pm. So then finally the week is almost over, and I realize my paycheck is going to be VERY tiny and I won't be able to find a cheap enough flight ticket anyway. So I give up and don't text her or call her and just stop trying. Today is her baby shower. She's communicating with my little bro about how upset she is with me. I'm confused. Maybe I should have never even tried? If I didn't she wouldn't have got her hopes up I guess. But atleast I tried. And she didn't give me much to go on to try such as a quick info as to time/date etc. I don't see why we had to talk about it I could have just gotten the address from a txt, made it to the shower and it would have been perfect. She didn't technically even send me any official invite.
So Am I at fault 100% or is this 50/50? Do you think this permanently ended/damaged our already fragile relationship? How do I go to her? How soon shoudl I talk with her? I don't want to ruin her buzz from the baby shower or anything.

Answer on Who is at fault for this?

Hmm..Well it seems to me like she was almost looking for an excuse to get mad at you. She wanted you to go, and then when you extended yourself and made the effort, she was avoiding it. I don't think you're at fault at all. If she is a real friend, she would understand it's not easy to hop on a plane and go somewhere. It is expensive. Maybe send a gift and write a nice card, then you did the right thing, and the ball is in her court. If you don't hear from her, I wouldn't even bother again. Good luck!