Sunday, June 9, 2002

What should I do about her?

I've been best friends with this girl since first grade, and now I'm about to go to a new school and start seventh grade (DON'T go ahead and say anything about Justin Bieber or Twilight crap, I'm not part of that mass) but now I'm mad at her, so here's the story; The first semester, it would be just me and her talking about anything at recess and we didn't talk much with other people when we were together, but we started hanging out with some other girls this semester, and since then, she completely changed; (she would sort of pretend she's Sam from iCarly) She would chase some of us, kick us, punch us, bite us or harm us in any other way (not in a very violent way, just picture her as Sam) she would be rude to everyone and be bossy, FORCING them to do whatever she wanted, buy her food, go wherever she wanted, etc. She would also answer in a very fake way as if she were on a TV show and that was her dialog, pretty much everything she says and the way she does sounds like she's a five year old pretending to be on a TV show about her life and she as some sort of rebel at school. She also became very selfish. I've realized that around 3rd grade she started copying EVERYTHING about me. She used to be the kind of girl that loved barbies, her favorite color was pink, etc. But I was always into different things, I liked violent and scary movies, different kind of music, my favorite colors were black and red... Then everything I used to like, now she likes it too (even if I don't) everything I once said, she now will say it too and then claim she has no idea what I'm talking about and deny that I once said it. She was really driving me crazy. And then, she is SUCH a poser, she thinks she's some sort of punk because she listens to Green Day and Linkin Park, but she has NO IDEA of who are the Sex Pistols, The Who, The Clash, 7 Seconds, Ramones, etc. and that is really annoying for someone like me, I can't stand posers.
When we were in fourth grade, we had this "band" (I still want to be a guitarist when I'm older, tho) and I really dreamt of being an artist and writing songs, I began teaching myself how to play the guitar, the piano, write songs, etc. She wouldn't do anything but say "I wan to learn to play the guitar, then the drums and then I'll take singing lessons" but she never moved a single finger ._. The I told her about it, that I was the only one who apparently really wanted to be in a band and that it's been my dream since I'm like 5, the only thing i remember from that conversation is that she told me "you know, when I was little I took classes for modeling, and I was going to Italy but my mom didn't want me to, and if it weren't because of her I could be a model now"
Anyways, I feel like I've always helped her a lot, she used to be called emo all the time by some girls and I would always stand up for her, I used to be friends with those girls and because of her I sort of ruined my reputation, but I didn't care. I would always stay up talking to her on the phone if her mom wasn't home and she was scared because MANY things happened at her house (believe me, her older house was as scary as hell) but she wouldn't really do anything. When I asked her to help me because it had been a while since the boy I liked and I talked and I really enjoyed talking to him (on Msn) so I asked her if she could add him to the convo so that we could all talk, but she instead said "neh, he'll get mad at me and hate me, besides, I'm too lazy to do it. I'll go play Sims, talk to you later" (that is, literally, what she said to me)
I don't think I'm ever seeing her again, but it's getting kind of boring and I don't have anything to do this summer and I miss her, I honestly miss her. I can imagine how long this will be, but I need help. Do you think I should move on, or even remove her from my friends (Msn, Facebook..)?
Thanks :D

Answer on What should I do about her?

Sounds to me like she's just being a little immature and wants attention. I have a friend sort of like this. She has completely changed from when I first met her, and has taken on a lot of my personality traits and even changed a lot of her lifelong goals and morals into what mine are (so annoying). It's like she doesn't feel secure in her own voice so she tries to be more like someone she sees as "cool". Anyways, this friend and I usually get along just fine, except whenever she acts like a child. The best advice I could give you is to treat her like a young adult. Don't play along or encourage her immaturity and don't give in to her little 'attention seeking games'. She needs to learn that friendships are a two-way street and that she can't just take take take, without giving anything in return. Sometimes friends don't realize everything that we do for them, because most of the time the biggest stuff we do for them is the stuff they don't even know about (I.E. Give up our reps, friends, etc. in order to be friends with them). But that's okay, because most of the time it makes us better people for it. Just talk to her and confront her about all of the issues you are having with her. Let her know exactly what is bothering you and if after that she still doesn't change then maybe it's time to start think about distancing yourself from her. Don't harshly cut ties, just kind of fade out. You don't want to make enemies with her, just to do what's best for yourself and move on with your life.