Saturday, February 16, 2002

How is the beginning to my essay?(spanish armada)?

The year 1558 brought one the of the Spanish army’s most famous attempts to remove Queen Elizabeth I from the throne of England. The Spanish were led my King Phillip II and their one hundred and fifty one ships, bearing over seven thousand sailors and thirty four thousand soldiers departed from Libson on May the 20th.

Phillip had several motives for attacking the British, the main one being their religion. Back then almost everyone in Britain was a Protestant whilst the Spanish were all Catholics. Phillip considered Catholic to be the one true religion and as king, he thought that he was its greatest supporter.
He bore additional grudges because of an English pirate, Drake (now known as Sir Frances Drake), who had previously stolen lots of gold, silver and other valuables from the Spanish ships.
England also aided the Dutch as they rebelled against the rules of King Phillip which made him very angry. Overall, Phillip decided that England was getting in the way so he gathered all the forces he could and set out to destroy it and its Queen Elizabeth once and for all.

Answer on How is the beginning to my essay?(spanish armada)?

There are a few accuracy and grammatical mistakes:
-There was no such thing as Britain in Elizabethan times. The act of union was in the 18th century.
-Catholicism was the one true religion, not 'catholic was the one true religion'.
- I think there should be a bit more detail.
- Try to formalise your language a bit more. For example, try not to use language like: 'made him very angry'.

It needs a bit of work, but other than that it's a good beginning.